Bittersweet

I have been looking forward to this week for SO long...why is it that I suddenly have mixed feelings?

We lived in Monterey before here, and as we drove down from Seattle and saw Monterey Bay and the ocean I just knew that I would be VERY sad to drive away from there...and I was...it was beautiful, lots to see and do, my ideal climate, and I had great friends. What was there NOT to love.

As we drove across Texas...miles and miles..hours and hours...from El Paso to Killeen I had this sinking feeling and a voice in the back of my head telling me that I would not be sad when I drove away in 3 years...if we couldn't, by some lucky chance, find a way to leave sooner.

I decided that I needed to put my chin up and make the most of it. And I did try...for awhile, but Texas turned out to be a huge challenge for me. I had difficulties in every aspect - I am definitely out of my element here. I just don't fit in. In the end, I just ended up fighting the urge to count the days until we could drive away...some days I was more successful than others...

Fast forward to today - suddenly, leaving is not so easy - while I am thrilled and excited to travel Europe, to be able to put my kids back in school, and begin my husband's new Chaplain career (not too mention enjoy the paycheck that comes with it!), just to name a few, I find that there ARE things that I will miss about Texas.
THE WEATHER:
I have actually become very fond of the weather. I've acclimated - even to the heat of summer! Last summer I had to go out of the house to warm up because I was chilled at the 73 degree house temperature!
THE FAMILIARITY
The up-side of moving to a new place is exciting for exploring and learning new places, but there is something to be said for knowing when Little League sign-ups are, and which grocery store has the best produce, and who's a good babysitter, and where the Costco is, and how to get around the traffic jam...
MY FRIENDS
But mostly, I have realized that I have made some really good friends while I've been here. We're finally putting together regular girls nights and girls chats - it took 3 years to finally get a schedule with friends that worked and now I'm leaving to a new place and rebuilding the network...hopefully, with each move this will get easier as we find our paths intersecting now and then and when we move to new places we find we already see a familiar face!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

As Joey asked, via facebook, "So how does it feel to hit the big THREE ZERO? (for the 7th time)" Someone once told me, on my real 30th birthday, that from then on when anyone asked my age I could just tell them I'm 30.  And if they ask when I turned 30, just to answer, "Oh...a little over a year ago." 

I remember growing up that my parents didn't really celebrate their birthdays much.  I don't know if they didn't want to, were just too busy, or if it was an aging thing or what, but I love how getting older feels - the confidence I've gained and the experiences I have had are great, not lamentable - although I will admit I'm glad to be through with some of those experiences!  So, I've decided that I'm going to overlook Joshua pointing out my gray hairs and wrinkles (yes, he does that ALL the time to tease me - at least I know when it's time to color!) and from now on I am going to extend my birthday celebration from one day to one week.  

It's LA DOLCE VITA, Baby!

Then again, maybe I'm just justifying that this year, with Joey gone, I started celebrating last Saturday and am still going...while the cat's away...LOL

Friends along the way...

Today, I had the great opportunity to get away for a little girl time with a friend - it rejuvenated me and it reminded me that even though I've moved a "couple of times" I have been lucky to have collected such good friends along the way.  Fortunately for us, we live in an era of internet and facebook and we don't have to lose those "friendly" feelings even though there are miles and many times years between us.  I know that I will have opportunities to meet up with these friends again through the years.  One of my good, longtime friends (I've known Raith since 2nd grade!) once told me that real friends never really have to catch up and get to know each other again, they just pick up where they left off - I have found that to be true time and time again. 

I look forward to picking up all my friends again here and there along the way...

Perspective...

Today, Joey leaves for 12 weeks of training in SC.  Just a few years ago, I would have been really dreading this separation - wondering how I was going to do it.  Funny thing, when I see all the amazing women around me doing not 12 weeks, but 12 months or more of separation I get a whole new perspective.  12 weeks seems like a blink.  

Surprisingly, I have come to see that distance really DOES make the heart grow fonder.  I realize that even when your marriage isn't perfect, it's pretty good - being separated reminds you of the good things...every day!  You rekindle the ability to appreciate each other and when you're together you don't bicker over the little stuff - it just doesn't seem all that important.  Even though, given the choice, you wouldn't choose to be separated, I am surprised that I have been able to find positive things about it and focus on them.

Of course, in a few days when the kids are driving me nuts my "perspective" might change (-: